iAffordgolf

So recently @stoolpresidente presented his 6 point manifesto. It includes quiet holes, speed holes, throwing the ball, and various other terrible ideas.

I have a better plan. Make every tournament like the Ryder Cup. Teams in each city across the U.S. And make heckling allowed. Boom. Billion dollar business. You’re welcome.

Listen, the reason why the Ryder Cup is the best tournament for spectating is because people are getting wasted and rooting for their team. It isn’t a consortium of elite father-in-laws. No, it’s the real raw emotion of patriotism and us vs. then competitiveness the sport needs (first time I have ever called golf a sport).

Now, I’m not saying we get rid of the classics. The Masters is the “Tradition Unlike Any Other” (trademarked by Augusta 🤦‍♂️) and the U.S. Open is where Amateurs compete against the pros. What I am saying is there is room for a franchise league in golf. That way, we could watch Justin Thomas get heckled, win the tournament, and still feel good about ourselves.

In truth, I really didn’t read all of @stoolpresidente ‘s blog, but I did see at the bottom he had “Gambling On Every Hole”. That is something I totally agree with. But as far as rest of his rules are concerned, it’s #badforgolf. You want #goodforgolf ? Give me Boston vs New York, Chicago vs Detroit, La Jolla vs. Honolulu. And #MakeGolfGreatAgain

That is how you sum up a PGA golf tournament.  Mr. Sunshine bringing the heat.

As you may have heard, Tiger recently dropped out of the Safeway Open and it brings to mind this question that gets posed from time to time.  I’m not quite sure of the answer from a ratings perspective, but I will say that he provided the same electricity the Ryder Cup had a few weeks back.  That’s just a fact.

Golf needs that atmosphere.  More noise, more rivalries, more polarization.  Tiger brought all of that to every tournament he was in.  

Don’t believe me? 

I dare you to watch those clips and not get excited to play golf.  There are millions of examples of Tiger getting crowds involved in a sport that usually puts people to sleep.

I don’t think we see that anymore.  I think all we see is political correctness and underwellming sportsmanship.

If we want to #makegolfgreatagain we need to have more competition.  More Match play.  More team events.  More beers.  There should be cheerleaders on every hole and Rory should get booed every time he swings.  Fans should be able to heckle and yell over 2 footers.  And they should have AC/DC’s “Welcome To the Jungle” playing in the background.  I mean, it worked for the NFL, right?

Maybe golf is a “gentlemans game” but if it doesn’t learn from Tiger then it could be an extinct game.

That was some of the most entertaining golf these two eyes have ever seen.  After all the dust had settled, the U.S.A. pulled ahead to win the Ryder Cup by the widest margin in over 30 years.  So what did we learn?

We learned Patrick Reed is a monster:

We learned that Sergio Garcia walks like a duck when he makes a putt…

And we learned that the U.S.A.  is better at golf.

But did golf learn anything?  I hope that the people in charge noticed how great this weekend was for all those who love the game.  Something I heard over and over again was how many fans showed up and how much energy there was this weekend.  Hopefully the PGA tour took notice.

If we want to continue to grow the game, we have to showcase tournaments that foster the competition we saw this weekend.  We need more teams, more best ball, more alternate shot, more rivalries and more fan participation.

I thought it was awesome that Rory was getting booed.  As a fan, you should be able to boo the person/team you are rooting against.  Screw the political correct BS.  Go win the tournament and have beers after. Or in this case, champagne…

P.S.  How salty is this guy…

The answer is no for a lot of today’s pros. Whether it’s because of the Zyka virus, the outbreak of violence, or the drinking water conditions, many of the best pros have decided to take a seat at this years Olympic Games.  

Players not playing in Olympics:  So would you play golf for your country?  Personally, I think it’s speaks to the person.  Some people choose to serve their country, others choose to sit at home.  Some people see golf as a leisure activity, others as a tough test of athleticism and courage.     

Yea I get it.  Professional’s make millions. And if anything were to happen, they could have the most to lose.  They could also probably spend their time resting or making money doing something else.  After all, it was a grueling season and they definitely don’t make enough.

Maybe I don’t know anything because I wasn’t invited and couldn’t possibly understand.  Regardless, the answer to that question is most definitely a yes for me.  Golf is too much fun to turn down and it’s the least I can do for my country (like literally the least).  

So I’m gonna suggest we all take Russian steroids and see how much better at golf we can get.  Because anybody might be able to qualify for the 2020 Olympic Games and I can’t think of an easier way to give back to the country that has given me so much. 

P.S.  Go U.S.A.

I’ll start by saying I was wrong.  I had hoped that this years Open would be about Rory vs Spieth vs Day.  Instead, we had Dustin Johnson vs Shane Lowrey and the rule book.  

To be 100% honest, I fell asleep.  I truly don’t care about either player.  Dustin Johnson gets a lot of love out there but I  can’t really stand him.  I am not sure what it is, but he reminds me of Lebron James.  He has all this great publicity and is the most gifted athlete out there but always seemed to choke until this past Sunday.  Also I hate his swing (I know #spinoverswing I’m a hypocrite but if I close the face on all of my clubs I could hit them 20 yards further also.  Maybe I should be doing that?).  In the end, Shane Lowrey is from Ireland, so I had to root for DJ as an American despite how much I wanted to see Shane chug Guinness on Twitter.

As I began to doze off, the USGA decided to make it all about them, per usual.  Maybe someday they will realize that by focusing so much on the rules they are effectively alienating people from the game.  Nobody wants to watch a sport/hobby where they can’t determine a rules violation for four hours.  That’s about when I totally passed out.

So, congratulations to the 2016 U.S. Open winner, Dustin Johnson.  I am sure he and his family will be celebrating this win in an appropriate, safe, and sustainable manner.
 

Obligatory pic of Paulina with DJ:

Over the years I have heard a number of people say “golf needs to be easier to get more people involved” or “I would play more if it didn’t take me so long to get through a round”.  That’s a load of crap.

Bro, if you wanted to get through a round faster, take a cart, play 9, and stop playing from the back tees (you and I both know you can’t reach that par 5 in two from the lady’s tees anyways).

For two centuries people have been playing this game with wooden clubs and leather balls.  That’s when men were men and there weren’t any orange body suits (I’m talking to you Rickie Fowler).  No, the way to bring people into the game of golf is to get rid of half of the rules.

I am  firm believer in freedom and golf has become a goddamn dictatorship.  You have to where a collared shirt and Khaki’s, you can’t wear jeans, kids can’t play before 1:30pm,  no cellphones in the clubhouse, etc…  Talk about alienating a vast majority.  Bernie Sanders would relate better in rural Mississippi then most golf clubs will with the majority of the world.

Moral of the story, I am sick of hearing people talk about making the holes bigger or introducing mulligans as a legitimate part of the game.  If you want more people to enjoy the game, eliminate the meaningless etiquette rules. It’s. That. Simple.  But you won’t because that’s not what you want.  You want to pretend to help while you sip cognac and smoke Cubans.

Rant Over